Christmas Shopping

I was walking around an enormous department store that day, trying to find a way to escape its twisty mazes of aisles, when I spotted someone.

“Now there’s an enterprising individual,” I thought. The thin young teenager was standing behind a glass jewelry counter, wearing a professional-looking blue suit and sporting a red pin. I walked up to him.

“Happy Holidays,” he replied. “How may I help you?”

“Why, that’s very kind of you,” I replied. “I also hope that whatever undefined holiday you are celebrating but dare not mention is a glorious and happy one.”

“What?” he said, looking confused.

“I need some assistance,” I said crisply, as I gazed into the glass case between us.

“I’d be glad to help! Doing some last-minute holiday shopping?” he asked.

I glanced at my watch. “I’ve still got, what, six whole hours before Christmas,” I said. “That’s plenty of time. Yes, I’m trying to find that mythical perfect Christmas present.”

“We’ve got lots of them here!” the teenager said. “Watches, rings, necklaces, all heavily discounted. What did you have in mind?”

I thought a moment. “I’m looking for a gift that says ‘I don’t actually care, but I’m pretending to because it’s Christmas.'”

“You want what?” he said. He looked at me with a very odd expression on his face.

I nodded. “Of course! This, my friend, is the time of year when we get presents for all the people we don’t care about the rest of the year, in a feeble attempt to make them think they are important to us.”

“It is?” he asked.

“Of course!” I replied. “Why do you think it is so hard to find gifts for people? We have no idea what people already own, or want to own, or desperately need because we don’t actually know them. It’s quite an art to find the perfect present when you don’t even know if the receiver is still alive!”

“You know, you’re right. You do need help,” the teenager said.

“Which is why I’m here!” I replied. “Your services are invaluable to me. Which of your gifts say ‘I care about you’ in a very convincing way, but are so general that pretty much anyone would like them?”

“Gift cards,” he said without hesitation. “You’re looking for gift cards.”

“Of course!” I said, snapping my fingers. “I’d overlooked that entirely. I’ve never met anyone yet that will turn down cash! How good of you to think of it.” I turned to go.

“Hey – wait a minute,” he said.

“You have them here?” I asked.

“No, it’s not that,” he said. “It’s just that – you know, you could try actually caring about people, instead of buying them off with presents.”

“A novel idea,” I said thoughtfully. “Is that better?”

“This season – it’s all about love, you know?” he replied. “God’s love to man, and everything. Why not take this chance and actually show some real love to people? Like Jesus did. I think that’s what it’s all about.”

I smiled. I knew he was an enterprising young man as soon as I laid eyes on him. Few people these days are daring enough to wear a pin that actually mentions the name of the holiday we celebrate this time of year.

“I think you’re quite right, young man. A present is meaningless without a life of love behind it. Merry Christmas.”

And with that, I left.